Let’s Talk . . .

Something that people have always told me is that I have a mind and a heart for justice. I went into education because I wanted to serve as an advocate for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing community as a Hard of Hearing woman. I want to study Library Science so I can continue to advocate and provide resources about my community and culture as well as advocate for other communities and cultures in the world. I’m a teacher who works in the public school system and I can honestly tell you that nothing has disappointed me more than seeing teachers who aren’t advocating for the Black Lives Matter movement and the rights of our students. I believe in creating a better world for the students I teach, and fighting for their right to live a happy life. Fortunately that’s not all I saw. I also have a boss and a couple of fellow teachers providing resources and advocating for the rights of others.

We also can’t sit and pretend that these conversations aren’t hard, they are extremely difficult. They are loaded, uncomfortable, and they hurt, but that’s what makes them necessary. Growth is painful and it’s not easy but there’s still growth. I’ve never been good when it comes to emotions, I’ve never been good at general social interaction. I have to script myself for just about every situation I walk into that isn’t about one of my current obsessions. There’s no scripted way to confront the beliefs you’ve been taught since you were a child, but, that’s still not an excuse for not entering the conversation. Sliding into someone’s DMs, tweeting, and sharing memes isn’t the way that I work best, but what I can do is write out and point out some of the inaccuracies and problems that I’ve seen, but at the end of the day it’s not about me, it’s about those that are dealing with hurt, racism, oppression, and constant fear every single day of their lives. I want to establish this as a safe and open space for the people who need it.

I grew up going to Catholic school, I grew up going to many different churches of various denominations, but nothing breaks my heart more than seeing the people I grew up with who preached hope, love, and the grace of God turn their backs when there are people who are clearly in need of help. There is so much anger and hurt in the world, it seems more important than ever to spread love, but yet that’s not what is happening. I also don’t think this is a new problem, this has been happening for years and years. I’m from South Texas and I can’t tell you how many racist, sexist, and homophobic comments I hear on a daily basis no matter where I am. I get a little tired of hearing people referred to by their race in my household before using their name. I wish I could say this only happens in the South, but I’ve also lived in the Midwest where it was much more subtle but still prevalent.

We are about to go into the month of June, which is Pride month, which typically causes quite a bit of a stir on my facebook page. I’ve been somewhat vocal in the past of my support of the LGBTQIA+ community but not nearly enough. For a long time I was scared of showing support because of where I was from and who I interacted with. For some reason I let other people control my thoughts and actions. It was one of those beliefs that I didn’t question or interact with until I went to college because before that I just followed what everyone else did. For a long time I had a hard time separating my beliefs from the people around me because I wasn’t good at interacting socially, so I mimicked other people’s beliefs even if it wasn’t something that was logical or made sense. I followed the perceived rules even though there weren’t any that were actually there, that has taken me a long time to unlearn and there’s no excuse for that. If you are also struggling with wanting to question the beliefs of the culture but being scared of what people will think of you, please know that I’ve gone through the same thing, and I’ve decided I’d rather be hated for showing love and kindness to those that need it than to be the person who never spoke up in their defense.

How many times have we read books featuring protagonists fighting against various evils because they know in their heart it’s the right thing to do. Anyone who knows me, knows that some of my favorite characters are the ones who stand up when no one else is standing. They are the ones who fight for change and fight for others. I know there are a lot of authors who have been silent, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not still inspired by the characters they write. I’ve been thinking a lot about some of those characters lately and what their reactions to all this would be. They wouldn’t shake while posting to their instagram feed about Black Lives Matter, or supporting the LGBTQIA+ community, they would just do it. They wouldn’t panic about this blog post going live, they would just post it. The fact that we live in a world where we still have to have these conversations is just insane. At then end of the day it’s not about me or you it’s about loving other for who they are not what you want them to be. It’s time for people to question their beliefs. It’s time for people to make a decision about which side of history they want to be on.

What I’m trying to say is that I support the Black Lives Matter movement, I support the LGBTQIA+ community, I support all of those who have been oppressed systemically and institutionally. If you haven’t spoken out, at least a little bit, please do. It’s important that we work as a society to try to change the system of oppression that has caused many of the horrendous situations we are seeing on the news today. If what you see on the news doesn’t bother you, then you need to question why? I was privileged enough to have the time and distance to question my beliefs, I am privileged enough to have a job and the resources and free time to write a blog post on all of this. I am privileged, but what people seem to think is that it’s a bad word. It’s often used that way, it’s used as a comeback or a slap in the face at times but it’s also a reality, one that most people don’t want to face. People are angry, they’re hurting and that pain is valid. You don’t get to use your hurt feelings as a way to invalidate their pain. It’s true we are privileged, but we also have the ability to use it to our advantage to help and speak out for others. I am by no means as educated as I should be on any of these topics, and it’s something I intentionally need to be better about. I want to be more vocal about my beliefs in the future, because I believe it’s important to speak out when I see things that I don’t think are right even if it makes others uncomfortable. (Again, discomfort is apart of growth, that’s what they mean when they talk about growing pains.)

I also want to say this, I am Christian, I do still believe in God, but I believe in the real one, the true God. I can tell you that the god people are talking about and using to hate, demean or oppress other people is a false one and I hope that someday they realize that God is not a weapon to be used to hurt others, God should be used to lift up all of us as equal in Christ, and that does mean EVERYONE! It is our job as Christians to be the ones to raise others up, not their job to fight their way to the top, they aren’t going to get there if you keeping pushing them back down and telling them to be quiet.

Resources for fighting the Black Lives Matter movement can be found here.

Also, if you start arguing, commenting or demeaning others in the comment, it will be deleted. I’m not interested in promoting hatred on my page. I’m also not looking for thanks, pats on the back, or a round of applause. The voices that need to be amplified are not mine, it’s the Black men and women who experience oppression and racism every single day. I simply want people to know that when they enter my life, my classroom, or my blog they are completely safe to be precisely who they are. You don’t need to change for me to love you.